Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
