Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
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