My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
