im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
