well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
