Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
