Redeem this text for a blowjob
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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