i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
