the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
