I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
