I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
