im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
