Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
