so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
