The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
