i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
