In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
