As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
