i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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