I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
