She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
