Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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