This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Pooping to opera.
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