I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
