Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
