you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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