The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
