I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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