dude i'm inner monologue high
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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