I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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