i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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