Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
