I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
