Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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