Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
