fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
