At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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