Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
