Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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