Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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