so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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