i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
it's like heaven, but drunker
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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