I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
