Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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