And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
