I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
