well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
