well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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