last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i came on her dog
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I have already put on my inside pants.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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