you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
