I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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